Teacher, don’t teach me nonsense!

A teacher of English once wrote: There is no egg in egg plants, no ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweet meats are candies while sweet breads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore it’s paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing; grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese?. Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? . If teachers taught, why don’t preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane .You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

If the plural of mouse is mice why cannot the plural of house be hice since both are nouns?.. Why are we referring to ‘Building’ when it’s already built? What are the real namesof flies (insects)? When I say, I want to fly, Does it imply that I want to become an insect? Too many contradictions..

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?

Amazing!

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.’

Have an English breakfast, followed by an English Sunday!

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