The day the Grim Reaper comes for my soul, he’s very likely gonna bait his trap with food.
So the other day, we had Suya for dinner.
The following morning I thought it would be a good idea to have the leftovers for brunch.
Now, when I eat, I gobble. I barely give myself enough time to chew properly before sending the food on its journey down to make way for another mouthful.
So I’m gobbling up bite after bite of hot, peppery suya when, suddenly, I get one stuck in my throat.
I’m choking. Coughing and spluttering and retching and thumping and just… choking.
I’m not usually one to panic when in danger, but this time, my heart begins to fibrillate. I’m gasping for air, my whole life flashes before my eyes, I come to the realization that I’m about to become an episode on “1000 Ways To Die”.
Yet, as the darkness closes in, one forlorn thought filters through.
“So who’s now going to finish the remaining Suya?”
This proves to be the motivation I need to give myself one final thump and dislodge the lump from my throat, chew it properly and swallow it again, saving myself from certain death.
I then proceed to savor the remaining pieces.
And thus, I lived to eat another day… Lol!
*A true account by Arinola Adesina